I had my sigmoid colon removed after suffering with chronic diverticulitis in August of 2014. The nine months prior had been filled with numerous trips to the emergency room, CT scans, antibiotics, painkillers, and a five-day hospital stay. While my time in the hospital was about as lovely as it could be, it was my second hospital stay since I had been diagnosed with diverticulitis three years earlier. I was tired of being sick and tired. The sigmoidectomy had been done through a laparoscopic procedure and I was recovering quite nicely at home. About eight days after the surgery, I began to notice some discomfort in my upper abdomen. The pain became unbearable just after midnight on August 31st. I had developed a blood clot in my portal vein. I was enjoying yet another hospital vacation in Grove, Oklahoma. They put me on heparin, a blood thinner, to combat the clot. Unfortunately, I had an adverse reaction to the medication. I began to hemorrhage through my spleen and developed a splenic vein clot as well. I don’t remember much about my stay in the hospital in Grove. I was unconscious through most of it. I do remember being loaded into an ambulance while a nice nurse explained to me that I was being life-flighted to a hospital in Oklahoma City. I was confused about why it was daylight when they were transporting me. It should have been night time according to the last conscious memory I had (about three days before).
I was transported in a cessna airplane, so my husband got to fly with me. It wasn’t the most comfortable flight I have ever been on considering my level of pain and discomfort, but it was a quick flight. I spent around three weeks in the hospital this time; about seven, maybe ten, days were in the Intensive Care Unit. I’m alive and I have nothing to complain about, but it was a very difficult journey for my family and I. The pain was unrelenting and there weren’t enough pain killers in the world to make it go away. The best it ever got was the thirty minutes to an hour time slot just after the intervenous dose of dilaudid was administered. I hate pain killers. I hate the way they make me feel. I also hate, that with the level of pain I was enduring, they didn’t work any way. Even after I came home, I was in so much pain. One day, I just sat on the edge of my bed and began to cry. My husband asked me what was wrong, and I lamented that I just wanted one day without pain. Just one day.
Several weeks later, when that one day finally came, and I could actually start to do some things around my house again, all I wanted to do was make quilts. I became obsessed with it. I loved making baby quilts the most because I could finish those quickly and move on to the next. I was making all these baby quilts, but I didn’t have any babies! Oh my children are all old enough to have produced some babies for me, but I didn’t have any. So, I had it in my mind that these were for all the grand-babies I would have some day. I loved working on quilts. I know that I was trying to make sure that I left something of myself behind that would be cherished. My health crisis had brought me closer to death than I had ever been.
During my whole ordeal, I looked to the Lord for strength and comfort. He was always with me and I knew it. When you get that close to death, it puts everything in a new perspective. I realized I was not living my life the way God intended. I had not been putting Him first. I was a Christian who, at the time, did not have a church home and wasn’t serving God. While I loved making quilts, it wasn’t what I had been missing. So, I woke up one day, and finally listened to that still, small voice inside. God led me to a church. My husband and I both joined and starting putting God first in our lives. It has been a process, and part of this wonderful journey has been opening up and sharing my story. I was saved when I was just thirteen years old, but I have never been very open with my Christianity. I never really let my light shine. Until now. I had to almost have my light snuffed out, literally, to be able to allow it to burn so brightly it overcomes me.
Matthew 6 put everything into perspective for me. I had spent so many years worrying about things that I should never have spent time on. Things that most people worry about: money, job, shelter, food, clothing, etc. These are all things that God has. He’s got them. He’s in control. Look at verses 31-34, 31 So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For the idolaters[p] eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God[q] and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. 34 Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Seek ye 1st the kingdom of God. First! He will provide. He promises He will, and I am here to tell you…He does!
I have not stopped making quilts. I still love it, but I love even more doing the work of the Lord. God has so richly blessed me. I just want to spend all my time studying His word, writing, sharing with others, and in fellowship. My only problem is my job in the world gets in my way! I do pray that the Lord will bless me with the privilege to be able to do His work as my only occupation in life. I just want to bring glory to His name. What I want to leave behind now is the knowledge of what Jesus Christ is all about. That is what I want to be cherished above all else. I want to sew stitches of love in my quilts, and sow the word of God in the fields of the earth. For it is only through His love and compassion that I am even here today to do any of it.
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